"I don't know how everyone else feels...but I definitely go through periods of extreme self-confidence, feeling like I can do anything. Perhaps a fan will sense that, like in a performance, and the hero image creeps out. But then someone will say something, however insignificant, or I'll get something in my head and, all of a sudden, I'm plummeting in the opposite direction, I'm a piece of shit, and I really can't do anything about it. That's where "Outshined" comes from, and why I'll never consider myself a hero."
Chris Cornell
I think most of us fall guilty of building our self-esteem based on the words of others. We expect for praises, detest critics, and grew anxious for lack of attention given to us. It might be somewhat acceptable for us to feel these feelings at the moment the situation arises, but it gets worse if we held on to those words, and project our sense of self-esteem based on how others view us.
Because I think in the grand scheme of pictures, no one gives a damn on how you're faring - whether you're acing or tripping up. Just think of it this way: if you are worried yourself on your insecurities more than how others are faring, why wouldn't others feel the same? A good self-esteem begins with a sense of respecting yourself. If you don't respect yourself, don't expect others to do so. Simple as that.
Wait!, you say. That sound rather simplified and generic, right? Well, sometimes the simplest thing rings a lot of truth. And there's nothing wrong with 'mainstream', if it works...
Through my faring with people, I can see how there's two kind of people that rest on the two ends of self-esteem issues. One is the ego monster, and the other one is the depressed stickman.
The ego monster has an ego bigger than the whole world, and they damn well demand the proper attention. Usually they are quick to react to what they perceive as an attack to their self-esteem or pride - poke them, and watch them explode! They're very confident and are usually very good at persuasion, but they can be overbearing at times. Sometimes they goes into a bit of self-depreciation - but only to grab others attention (an easy terms to call them is attention whores). Pull away the attention from them, and they deflate into actual depression. They are jerks that are build from their sense of low self-esteem.
The depressed stickman has some issue standing out -they make themselves unseen (they think everyone view them 1-dimensionally), and they're too bloody meek. Not just meek in a good sense of the word - this is more to the point of people not trusting in them. On the other hand, they tend to be very introspected in their thinking - they usually could figure out things others wouldn't do so, but their 1-dimensional projection makes it hard for others to give them due respect. They don't believe in themselves - not even some motivations from others could rouse them. They could be very sarcastic, and prone to series of self-depreciation (the kind done in a monologue manner). They are sad shadows that hang around people.
It's kinda sad how little pride we have in ourself, and how we either constantly needs others approval, or we are a sorry sad of ourself that is devoid of confidence.
I have no idea what the ego monster view their self-esteem as... but it's usually the introverted stickman that bore the brunt of being the example of those with self-esteem issues. For the latter, I think it's important to remember that you shouldn't think along the line of 'I wish I could be like those extroverted people' - that would mean becoming someone who you're not, and that's a total waste of time. The ego monster seems a bit of a tough case - we can only hope that they don't spiral downward too bad before they come to the realization of just how much of a jerks they can be.
Depending on whichever ends we are, pride is something which we should give more attention to. With pride, we can truly come to the term that nothing that others say - or do not say - will hurt us. We just keep on living - remember, they also share the same sense of insecurity as you do, no matter how confident they appear.
This is surely an issue that can't be fixed right away - but we can always improve. And by improving, that would mean self-improvement. No one truly makes you feel better when you are down, and no one truly brings you down when you're at the top - it's you, yourself that does it all the while.
So have a bit more of confidence and pride in you. And don't ever give up on yourself.
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